Mom's Chop and Lop Shop

After Guy's recent chewing-gum-removal by Swiss Army scissors, his hair definitely needed some touching up. It was also getting a bit shaggy in places, so I let him know, "Hey you! Haircut time!" I set him up on the kitchen stool wearing the dreaded animal-print plastic cape and got out my tools.

The only unexpected hurdle was his request....for a long, layered boy's look (see photo of boy with long hair ... NOT my child.) One of Guy's soccer teammates has an older brother with this haircut, and has gotten kudos for his look. At one soccer game, Doug said, "Hey, I like your hair!" and Guy later let us know that he wanted to grow his like that, too.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before and will mention again that I am a classic book-learner. When I started playing racquetball, I checked out a few books for tips. When I wanted to knit, quilt, bake, invest, and deliver a baby, I read books on those topics to bolster up. So, yes, I have read some handy barbering books...twelve years ago.

I actually remember some suggestions from the books, specifically that one should purchase high quality hair-cutting shears before attempting to perform any services. I also remember the suggestion that a quality cape, comb, spray bottle, buzzer and clips, while useful for the job, are also truly necessary for the professional ambience that will encourage a reluctant husband to submit to his wife's first attempts.

I remember my first attempts, too. I had been mentioning to my newly-wed husband that I should learn to cut hair, and he had been "mulling it over" for several months. Then, one fateful weekend, he decided that he URGENTLY needed a trim and bravely marched out to the sunny yard. Although I WANTED to get in the habit of performing my family barbering, I balked because I didn't yet have any hair-cutting shears. With all the support in the world, he encouraged me that at least some improvement could be made using orange-handled kitchen scissors.

I trepidatiously combed up lock after lock of hair and scissored away at it. Annoyingly, the scissors did NOT cut cleanly through the hair, but gnawed at it while pushing and pinching it askew. After a short time both of us were pained enough to give up the attempt and Doug trudged off to his regular barber, Max. I remember he fingered through Doug's hair and immediately identified, "What? Have you been trying to cut your own hair!?"

After that it was a long time until I could again win enough confidence from Doug, but luckily my Mom sent me a nice pair of shears and a cape as a gift. Also luckily, I gave birth to an unsuspecting victim. I have a few photos of Xander as a toddler with way-too-short haircuts, and remember a few trips to Max to have him fix what I had done, but there were no injuries and eventually Doug also let me do an occasional trim.

My big break came when Doug went for a haircut in Massachusetts and had a painfully long wait. Oddly enough, even though there was a bench filled with men ahead of him, when one particular woman was ready for her next client, every man on the bench turned to Doug and obligingly insisted that HE go next. Doug then experienced the worst haircut money can buy, which was terrible for the wallet but great for the would-be-barber-wife. He came home in fumes, delighted to have me make repairs, and declared, "I'm never paying for another haircut again! You do a much better job!"

So, here I am twelve years later and still performing variations of my one best cut (a short, layered male cut). I've always wanted to give layers a try, and expand my repertoire, but I assumed I had a few more years before Zoe made requests. I fingered through Guy's hair and looked at the photos. The problem is I don't know how to keep it looking decent in the transition between "short" and "longish".

I told Guy, "Son, you can either let me take you to the shop and THEY can cut your hair so it will start to look like this, OR you can let me cut it right now and you'll get the same short cut as usual." With astounding loyalty (or maybe an eagerness to have this all over and done with) he chose to have me do the job.

Let's see...he'll probably be due for another trim in 6 weeks or less, which means I have just that much time to read a few new books.