I Died in My Dream

Gosh, this whole week I have been having all kinds of disturbing dreams. The kids usually think its funny when I tell them my dreams (I avoid the disturbing elements), but last night, for only the second time in my life, I died in my dream.

I dreamed I was in a small airplane with about a dozen other moms and children, sitting on the floor. (Hm, sounds like music class!) A helicopter was attempting to reach a harness into the open door of our plane and I was assisting it in removing children from the plane (why?). After 2 children had been removed, our plane started to lose control and the helicopter was no longer able to get close to us. I was able to look out the windows and see that we were spinning and flipping over, but I momentarily thought, "That's strange, I don't FEEL like we're flipping and falling." Even so, I was not afraid or panicked.

Shortly the plane leveled out, but kept losing altitude. The other parents and I started saying, uncertainly, "It'll be okay, now..." and "Do you think it's under control now?" I still felt very confident that we would recover from the situation.

But we kept free-falling and only in the last moment, as I saw the houses and yards rushing up at me, I realized we were not going to make it. Still I was not feeling nervous, but resigned. I hugged my child to comfort him/her (not sure which child I had!) and right before we hit I quietly said, "Okay...here we go..." and I took a deep breath...

Then everything was dark (or light?) like when you have your eyes shut and poke your eyelids. I wondered how long it would take until I found out what happens when you die. I counted to ELEVEN! before anything happened, and during that time I was also thinking, crap! I forgot to say a final prayer before we died.

At the count of eleven, disappointingly, another dream began in which I had a dog-sized pet parasite that looked like a slug, and lived in an apartment that was clinically bright and sterile. Luckily, Xander came and woke me up from that one, due to his ear infection.

So, this is what I found on the web about dreaming my own death:

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.meanings by DreamMoods.com

On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. You are desperately trying to escape from the demands of your daily life.

This analysis is totally unhelpful, so I will come up with my own: I need to exercise more, and my husband needs to stop traveling so much.