Don't Buy the Mazda 5

Guy models his vehicle of choice....NOT the Mazda 5.

There's a silly camp song that we used to sing, Down by the Deli-side, that went like this:

When you go to the delicatessen store
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
I repeat what I just said before
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst

Oh, buy the corned beef if you must
The pickled herring you can trust
And the lox puts you in orbit A-OK
But that big hunk of liverwurst
Has been there since October first
And today is the 23rd of May

So when you go to the delicatessen store
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
It'll make your insides awful sore
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst

So, I am gonna go ahead and replace the LIVERWURST with the words MAZDA 5.

This is TRAVEL LESSON 2: DON'T BUY THE MAZDA 5. It will not enhance your vacation experience.

I originally got the Mazda 5 because, frankly, I had a mental block against driving a minivan, even with 4 kids. The M5 is SHAPED like a minivan, but it would fit INSIDE any of my friend's minivan. I think maybe Mazda wanted to put out something like the SMART for van lovers.

As a mother, here are things that irk me about the M5:
1. The storage space in the back...huh? Oh, there is no storage space in the back. You can set a gallon of milk there if you are careful. When you close the hatchback, warn any passengers to watch their heads...the door comes right into the passenger's personal breathing space. How rude.

2. The storage space between seats is also non-existent. You cannot bring a stroller (I'm talking UMBRELLA stroller) in this car. Not even under passengers feet, nor between seats. Are you seeing here that whenever I go shopping, let's say to buy a 6-pack of soda, I leave one family member or more home, so I can lay down seats and put purchases there.

3. No arm rest. This might just be my bare-bones model, but the driver gets the only armrest...none for the passenger. If I'm the passenger I can't help but reach over and put my arm on that armrest. I want one! If I'm driving, I can't help but smack away the arm of the intruder trying to share it with me.

4. Amputees and very short children only will fit into the 3rd row seats. I'm guessing anyone who's femur is less than 8 inches can get in. No car seats can fit back there, which is too bad since infants don't mind being squished into the fetal position for the entire road trip. Guy complacently rode in the back for this entire journey, and I often saw him with his legs splayed into the various headspaces of the vehicle.

5. What did you say? The M5 is so loud while driving that it's hard to hear the radio, DVD, or Nintendo DS. On the other hand, it's also hard to hear the crying baby, so maybe this is a positive element.

Okay, so since I needed to fit a TON of vacation stuff into this car, we used our Thule car-top carrier to provide some storage space AND (this is key, ladies) we left Doug at home. Sorry, Doug! But not really sorry - he later traveled by airplane and met us there. Good thing he had work requirements that couldn't be left for 3 weeks, otherwise we'd have had to put him in the car-top carrier.