This week was Spring Break, so I tried to do my duty to make life a little interesting for the kiddos. The menu included Monday: Movie (Monsters v. Aliens), Tuesday: Rollerblading at the indoor rink, Wednesday: Swimming at the "fun" pool with waterslides, Thursday: Swimming at the regular pool, and Friday: Bike outside and bunk the beds. We have also done a good job so far playing lots of board games and probably too many video games.
You may have noticed the back-to-back swimming dates on Wednesday and again on Thursday. Zoe seems to have really benefited from the extra pool time.
I remember when she first realized (at age 3.0) that she could put her face in the water and it was fun (Imagine 25 rounds of ring-around-the-rosie ending with dunking). Shortly thereafter she learned how to blow bubbles while under water, and her kicking became really effective. She used a 'barbell' under her armpits to hold her up while she chased everyone across the pool.
The next big developmental leap that I'd been watching for was the front float or front glide. She was happy to be underwater, but I had a hard time convincing her that prone position is the way to be! Swimming in the zero-depth-entry fun-pool on Wednesday really helped...she was able to lie on her tummy in 6 inches of water and front float without feeling a terrifying freedom and the helplessness of floating.
On Thursday when we were back in the regular pool...hooray! She was able to push off the steps and front float with her face in (atop 3 feet of water) and kick 3 or 4 feet over to me. Sometimes she used her arms, but honestly...they were useless floppy noodley paddles. Nevertheless, I was delighted to see her swimming through the water without any support from me or any floaties!
Looking back, I realize that Zoe is swimming at 3 1/2 as well as Xander was at 5 1/2. Then again, I never really put Xander in a pool until he was 5, and Zoe's been going once per week since she was 18 months. Guy masterfully picked up reading at 3 when it took Xander until 4 1/2 to get rolling, and Guy rode his bike at 4 while Xander was doing the same at 7. Rollerblading on Tuesday proved that Guy is nearly as good as Xander, and they're both doing well as fairly new skaters...and there was Zoe...making strides in HER skating skills even though her brothers never tried it until they were much older.
All this thinking raises the question in my mind...how is each child's experience different based on birth order? How much of my parenting is changing as I go from one child to the next? In most of the examples listed, I'm thinking that the later-born children benefit from earlier exposure to many things just because they get dragged along with older siblings (or they see the older brother doing something fun, and by golly they'd like to try too!)
MY later born children are also benefiting from the fact that I have learned how to swiftly and effectively teach swimming, piano, reading and math. The younger children may also still have a chance to learn social graces, self-discipline, and self-cleanliness from me, if I can possibly get my act together in the near future.
Younger children also have the benefit of a slightly-older role model, only one step ahead, to look up to. (Who cares that my Mom is a role model? Of COURSE she knows how to tie her shoes...she's a grown up. But if my BROTHER can do it, I betcha I can learn to do it too.)
So what could possibly be the benefit of being born first? Undivided attention for a couple of years surely has some nice payoffs (my firstborn spoke earliest and most eloquently of them all), but does that effect wane in comparison to all the benefits of being 2nd and 3rd and 4th?
My husband and I are both second-borns. We'll never know for sure what it's like to be first as a kid, but maybe number one feels just a bit the same as his parents do. Every adventure is a new one for us as parents, as it is for him. Every grade level in school is exciting and terrifying. We go to the first scout troop meeting with him with our own bewilderment and trepidation. We navigate team sports and social graces with him bridled with fears and concerns and worries.
Will all of that be old hat next time around for me as the Mom?
Perhaps number one has the advantage of my cameraderie in all things new and adventurous and experimental. Perhaps he gets the best lessons in how to invent, how to improvise, and how to test limits. And I won't disregard the fact that he has a young and peppy Mom...I can't make too many promises for what I'll be like 10 years from now for the youngers.
Number one may also get the most opportunity to practice his own teaching skills. He can help those next in line with every skill and lesson he's learned, whereas the baby may have a hard time finding a younger victim to lead and guide.
And now my pondering leads me around to the eventuality that perhaps I am successfully getting better at parenting. I'll probably get REALLY good at handling baby things just as my youngest is no longer a baby. I'll have perfected the teaching of phonics just as the youngest has moved on to novels. I'll be superb and teaching intro piano just as she moves on to more advanced teachers. Sigh. Years of tweaking and trying and I know eventually there won't be any tots left.
Are my grown-up kids going to want any my wealth of knowledge for use on their kids?
Newsflash!: I have just been hit with a newfound respect for grandparents. If you are a grandparent, please come visit and teach my kids everything you possibly can. I'm sure you've mastered it by now.
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